With the Cash for Clunkers scam incentive running on E for the second time, there are suddenly lots more commercials about how you should get a new “fly ride” immediately before the time runs out, how you’ll hate yourself for missing this second chance, and how in general everyone else has a new car.. so where’s yours?

Being a proud owner of a 1995 Mercury Villager, I can attest to the fact that yes, even I want a brand new ride to bump the newest lil Wayne bullcrap track while in deadstop cruise control on the Los Angele’s freeways. One of my first jobs out in this capitalist world was a car salesman. At the age of 18 I was blessed with a job to work for Larry Miller’s car groups. Larry Miller is the country’s 6th largest privately owned dealerships, he’s also owns a bunch of other things at the time, TV stations, Utah Jazz.. stuff like that. I’d have to say I didn’t do so bad, so of course I wanted to give this guy a little run for his money on a deal that’s already spectacular. There was nothing to lose, so why not? I am at work doing nothing finished with all my duties for the day anyway, and this deal is almost sweet enough for me to commit to 5 years of wonderful debt in this great economy. A little more detail about this deal, this is a 2005 v6 Honda Accord coupe. I know, it’s an accord, but considering you do the research and realize that a car with these specs and these miles is actually booked at Trade in Value of 13500 and can be retailed out at over 18k, you’d understand why this deal is so sweet already. The name of the dealership and our all smiles sales person is modified, otherwise you’re reading exactly how this deal went down. Keep reading after the conversation for my thoughts on the whole thing, and how it turned out.

Dealership A: Thank you for choosing Dealership_A!
System: We have alerted the online representatives that you are waiting. Someone should be with you momentarily.
System: A representative has joined the conversation. Compose your message below and then click Send.
Smiles_01: Hello, How may I help you?
You: Hey Smiles, it’s me again
You: I just talked to you earlier,and you gave me a quote that’s just bit too high
You: did you get the number from selling the car at full price of 21995?
You: orry
You: sorry* 12995
Smiles_01: I thought so:-) I would take 21995:-)
You: hahah
Smiles_01: 12995 plus tax 9.25% plus lisc. 23.00 doc 50.00 smog 58.25 it comes out right.
You: I’m not so worried about the fees, we’ve gotta pay them
You: so i’m looking for your help on the price
You: can you drop the full price down a bit?
Smiles_01: Like I said the power that be just dropped the price down a thousand bucks. Its a very nice car. Everthing including leather!
You: oh yeah, i love the car, that’s why we’re even talking Bryan lol :) seriously though, any Joe can hop online right now and get that price, can you give me a good one for being a absolutely 100% serious buyer?
Smiles_01: I understand that you are serious however, we do advertise our prices as low as possible to get action on the cars we offer so there isn’t as much wiggle room. New car stores put cars like this on the lot for full retail and give you a huge discount making you feel like a negotiating hero. We are not that way. It’s more like the CarMax philosophy. I hope you can appreciate that. Most people don’t like the back and forth haggle. I don’t
Smiles_01: It’s a nice 2 ower 41K miles with a clean carfax. No accident history. It was a trade in for a BMW.
Smiles_01: I have 2 keys as well.
You: Ah I see, I’m not trying to play hero, i’m just watching my budget. this is a vehicle that’s not only going to stay with me for years, but it’s taken years for me to save up to get it, you have to understand that much since you put people in cars all day. I’m not going to haggle much, i don’t expect to reach some epic ending where i leave with a car at 10k or what not, i’m just looking at the bottom line. you said there’s isn’t as much wiggle room, that’s probably that room we need to make my dream come true
Smiles_01: Hold on a minute. Let me find my boss. I’ll be a minute or two.
Smiles_01: 14100.00 out the door is the very best I can do. He didn’t want to give me any more room but, I camped out in his office for a few minutes. :-) Let me know. To do this you will have to see either myself or my Finance manager <name omitted>. If I have to include a salesman in the mix, it’s not going to work. Thanks Smiles_01 800.555.5555
You: Smiles I hope Smiles is your real last name because i’m going to buy you steaks and stuff when i get my car, I saved your number, is there an extension?
Smiles_01: No, I’m the only Smiles here. I’m actually the Business Manager. If I’m on a line when you call just be patient. I have one pushy sales guy who tries to put himself into deals so please, <name omitted> or myself. I’m saving you money by saving the commission. I don’t do this much as my guys have to eat too.
You: i love you man, i’ll see you as early as tonight, depending on when they let leave from work.
You: thanks again so much Smiles, I”ll see you soon

Now, Smiles is an awesome guy, and he’s a professional. That’s why when I got the 200 deduction on an out the door cash price, I didn’t want the deal at all. So no, I’m not a proud owner of a freshly used 2005 Accord coupe, and sadly, we never visited Smiles lot to see him, and he’ll probably never get steak and such from us. Because let me ask you this, how often do you post an ad online hoping to make no money? As soon as he said that it was a trade in, I knew he had room to budge. you know why?  Because the one thing most people don’t know about trade-ins is that it could be whatever value you want it to be, provided the deal that is being made goes through and has enough gross to cover the difference. I’ve put $1 into people’s trade in value dozen of times and told them that they got 3-5k for it, hey, I was 18, and my special finance department head was and probably still is one of the most brutal young geniuses in the car business at the time, and I was in the company of great salesmen, peer pressure, my friends, is a bitch. You’d have to be when out of 3 sales men one of your friendly competition is capable of upping someone at the bus stop that’s minding their own business and sell them a car, and the other one closed someone with 17k down (cash) and financing 900 a month on a used Mitsubishi Montero, and a finance manager that can get that paper bought. you say unbelievable? I say that’s the stuff legends are made of.

Another thing that Smiles missed was he never had total control of the deal, but give him credit, it really is hard to have control over someone over the internet. What is this control thing? well, for example, every time the he told us to wait, we waited. That’s obvious right? Fact of the matter is, this is a form of sales control. You often hear these sales people telling you to do things, and they’re things you already are going to do. Things like “grab a seat, come with me, take this number down, give me a yes or no, come check this out, feel the wheel, grab this pen, sign here, press hard 3 copies.”  and over the phone you’d hear stuff like “go ahead and grab a pen and paper, I’ll wait.” or “let’s do this right, find your favorite spot and sit down and relax, put the TV on mute real fast this will just take a second” etc etc. The thing is, you can’t hate Smiles, this deal is by the book and already a great price. it’s just that.. I really did want to play the hero and walk out of the lot with a new v6 Accord at 10k. I’ve already committed to the fees, he should have just sold me on the price.

-image via flickr, not the car for sale.